Chapter 4 - Revision History

Tower Of Karma

Total Revisions
1
Latest Version
v1
Validated
0
Avg Confidence
86%
Original Translation
Base version created Nov 13, 2025 7:59 AM
Terminé
Model Used:
openrouter/polaris-alpha
Confidence:
72%
Word Count:
3,035
Revision Timeline
v1
Revision 1
Nov 13, 2025 8:02 AM
Pending Latest
Model:
openrouter/polaris-alpha
Confidence:
86%
Words:
3,041
Time:
N/A
Notes:
Harmonisation du ton narratif : style soutenu mais fluide, cohérent avec un light novel sombre. Clarification de plusieurs phrases ambiguës tout en respectant le sens implicite (ex. 'billet vers l’avenir', 'cercueil d’un homme'). Correction systématique des erreurs grammaticales, accords et ponctuation (espaces insécables françaises avant ? ! ; concordance des temps). Maintien et renforcement de la cohérence des relations entre personnages (amis, dette, vengeance) sans ajout d’informations étrangères. Uniformisation des termes techniques et du worldbuilding : 'citoyen de troisième rang', 'royaume des Sept Couronnes', 'carte d’identité', 'Lusitania'. Ajustement des dialogues pour les rendre plus naturels en français, en conservant le registre oral des personnages. Correction de micro-incohérences internes (épée 'ne coupe pas' / menace) pour rester fidèle à l’idée originale de menace réelle. Préservation stricte de la structure HTML fournie. If the goal is strict fidelity to this provided English source, reduce interpretative smoothing and preserve more of the jagged/emphatic style (broken phrases, repetitions, outbursts). Currently, the French reads like a revised, more polished version. Revisit emotionally charged lines to keep Al’s instability sharper. For instance, reinforce repetitions and fragmented syntax around his breakdown and the "Kill me" / "ridicule" tirades to mirror the original intensity. The line "Je savais que, quelles qu’en soient les raisons, c’était une méthode trop indulgente" could more literally echo the self-critique: e.g. « J’ai bien pensé que c’était une procédure trop douce, quoi qu’il en soit. » to keep closer to the idea of him judging it "sweet" rather than purely "indulgente" with clear logic. For "Kyle is jealous. Inconvenient favera.", consider something closer in nuance while remaining idiomatic: « Kyle bouillonnait. L’attitude de Favela le mettait mal à l’aise. » instead of "fulminait" + "calme dérangeant" if you want to avoid over-interpretation. Maintain the full force of sequences like "Kill it Kill it Kill it..." — you can intentionally lengthen and keep the obsessive rhythm ("Tue-moi, tue-moi, tue-moi, tue-moi, tue-moi…") to match the original escalation. Ensure consistency in worldbuilding terminology is backed by prior chapters. If "Sept Couronnes" or "Arcadia" are translator insertions, confirm they match established canon; otherwise, keep closer to the source wording. Where the source is obviously mistranslated (e.g. "Japan", "sea of feces"), your corrections are reasonable, but document these as deliberate fixes if this is for an official or reference-quality edition. Tighten a few expository sentences that over-explain internal logic compared to the source; maintain the balance between clarity and preserving the raw, sometimes unclear narrative voice.
Applied Recommendations:
Improvement Improvement Improvement +3 more